Parent Teacher Conference BINGO card

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Acknowledging that many of our readers will be participating in hours of fall parent/teacher conferences around the time that this issue hits their mailboxes, we’ve decided to encourage you to share some of your experiences with each other. All you need to play Parent/Teacher Conference bingo is the gameboard below, a marker, and a way […]

How-To Books That Don’t Exist, But Should

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  How to Run a Meeting with Twenty-Five or More Agenda Items in Fifteen Minutes or Less: A Guide for Principals, Written by Elementary Teachers This no-nonsense guide shows principals how to cut after-school meeting times from two-and-a-half hours to ten minutes by using simple tools like delegating, eliminating irrelevant information, and talking directly to […]

Zero Dark Tolerance, or Bully for You!

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Bedlam’s assistant principal, J. Hilliard, was known for neither restraint nor reflection. He tended to either quietly observe everything with a suspicious look, or pound the table repeatedly to make a point to which he was deeply committed. In this case, he was definitely exhibiting the latter tendency. The setting was the after-school meeting of […]

Grading for Dummies, or A Confederacy of Rubrics

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Dressed in a three-piece, charcoal gray pinstriped suit, Rex Kane squirmed in his chair at the head of the table. He fidgeted restlessly with the bold red silk tie he had chosen in the belief that it lent him an air of credibility. Before him sat Bedlam Christian High School’s curriculum committee, an august group […]

Outside of a Dog, a Book Review is a Teacher’s Best Friend; Inside of a Dog, It’s Too Dark to Read— Or: So Many Book Recommendations So Little Time

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Jan Karsvlaam recently took a hiatus from teaching seventh grade science at Terra Ceia Christian School in Pantego, North Carolina after an experiment using lard to teach students about the insulating properties of whale blubber resulted in the largest lard fight the state has ever known. Karsvlaam is reportedly applying to be assistant principal in […]

It’s a Pun-der-ful Life—Or: Puns Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest

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Jan Kaarsvlam has been teaching sixth grade at Ripon Christian School, but is on an extended leave since finding out that he has contracted F.B.C.A.S. (Facebook Community Addiction Syndrome) To learn more about his desperate struggle against this debilitating disease, check out Jan’s Facebook page. “I’m not doing it!” Jon Kleinhut, the school librarian, leaned […]