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Category: Slouching Toward Bedlam

Ask Not for Whom the Final Bell Tolls . . . ; or, This Is How It Ends—Not with a Bang but with a Principal’s Whimper

    Bedlam’s principal, Bentley VanderHaar, should have been relaxed. It was springtime, his favorite season. Trees were budding, flowers sprouting, and […]

The Metaphor in the Room, or Like Fodder for Elephants

CEJ Archives are available to on-line subscribers. No worries, just click the Register tab from the menu and register with a user […]

She Reads to Conquer Or The Books U Give

Christine Lopez stood outside the biology room, staring at Sam Toomer’s classroom door. It was Friday, the students had left, and after […]

Confessions of a Bedlam Doughnut Eater Or Professional Development Comes for the Librarian

Gord Winkle sighed with happiness. It was second period, his free period. The only other person to share his free period was […]

Portrait of the Student as a Young Atheist Or The Unbearable Weight of Being (Curious)

Maxwell Prentiss-Hall, Bedlam’s counselor, entered the teachers’ lounge at break and slumped quietly into a seat. Resting his chin in his hand, […]

Confessions of a Humor Columnist Or The Inquisitor’s Tale: An Interview with Jan Kaarsvlam

Over the years, readers have contacted the CEJ with numerous questions about this column. Editor Mark Brink compiled the most frequently asked […]

Timid New World; or, Fear and Loathing in the Board Room; or, Childe Christina to the Dark Tower Came

Bible teacher Cal VanderMeer was sipping coffee and perusing the newspaper when his colleague, English teacher Christina Lopez, dropped into the seat […]

Of Chapel Committees and Kings; Or, Cal and the Art of Automotive Maintenance

Industrial arts teacher Gord Winkle gathered up his notebook, pen, and folder; stuck an emergency Snickers bar in his front pocket; and […]

A Heartbreaking Lesson Plan of Staggering Imbecility, or How I Learned to Quit Worrying and Love the MMOG

Gord Winkle was well into his third jelly doughnut, his mustache vibrant with strawberry jelly and a smattering of custard, when Janitor […]

The Stain (It’s Plain) Lies Mainly On the Chapel Carpeting: Or, When in the Golf Course of Human Events

“Well, I think it is stupid!” said Red Carpenter. “I mean, the golf team hasn’t had new polos for two years, I […]

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