Ask Not for Whom the Final Bell Tolls . . . ; or, This Is How It Ends—Not with a Bang but with a Principal’s Whimper

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    Bedlam’s principal, Bentley VanderHaar, should have been relaxed. It was springtime, his favorite season. Trees were budding, flowers sprouting, and he was making arrangements for Bedlam’s graduation ceremonies. Apart from the incident with the black-footed ferrets and the peanut butter, there had been little mischief from the students. VanderHaar, however, was not relaxed. […]

She Reads to Conquer Or The Books U Give

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Christine Lopez stood outside the biology room, staring at Sam Toomer’s classroom door. It was Friday, the students had left, and after the weekend was over Monday would mark the start of book week. Sam’s door had on it the same bright green piece of paper she had hung on everyone’s door. The same piece […]

Confessions of a Humor Columnist Or The Inquisitor’s Tale: An Interview with Jan Kaarsvlam

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Over the years, readers have contacted the CEJ with numerous questions about this column. Editor Mark Brink compiled the most frequently asked questions and conducted an interview with columnist Jan Kaarsvlam. Mark describes the interview as “challenging, yet not particularly enlightening” and describes columnist Jan Kaarsvlam as “generally disagreeable, yet not altogether affable.” When Mark […]