Gender stereotyping and gender related bullying are growing concerns in our schools. Gender confusion and transgender identification are real challenges for children and families today. Alternative families and same sex parents are legal in Canada and becoming increasingly socially accepted. So, how do we talk to our children about these things? Where can we find books that mirror the realities we experience at school, in our communities and at home? Below are a few children’s picture books to get you started.
Richardson, Justin, and Peter Parnell. And Tango Makes Three. New York: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2005.
Roy and Silo live at the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo in New York City. They are a little different from the other males: they are not interested in the female penguins, but in each other. Soon a zookeeper notices their loving relationship and decides, like the other penguins at the zoo, they should be able to experience what it means to have a family. They are soon offered a fertilized egg to hatch, and become the proud parents of little Tango, the first penguin to have two dads.
And Tango Makes Three is an award-winning, heart-warming true story of two penguins who create a non-traditional family, based on love.
Herthel, Jessica, and Jazz Jennings. I Am Jazz. New York: Penguin Random House, 2014.
Jazz has a girl’s brain in a boy’s body. Her favourite color is pink; she loves dressing like a mermaid; and she is not interested in anything boys are. Her parent soon discovered that Jazz is transgender, and was born this way. It is not easy to navigate this while growing up, but this is who Jazz is. This book tells her story.
This is important book for all elementary schools and families. As coauthor, Jazz tells her story clearly and honestly, in hopes that other children and families with gender identity questions can learn and find peace in the discovery. This book offers readers a tool to talk more openly about being transgender (as well as other sexual orientations).
Polacco, Patricia. In Our Mother’s House. New York: Philomel Books, 2009.
Marmee, Meema, and their three children are just like most families: they cook; they play games; they laugh; they learn; and they celebrate the seasons of the year together. Most people in the neighborhood love them—and why not? They were always happy and always having fun! Sadly, some families don’t like them and work hard to stay away from them. They had two moms and three adopted children—now what kind of family is that?
In typical Patricia Polacco style, this book is written with deep love and endless joy. It celebrates diversity and highlights that family is where love is.
de Paola, Tomi. Oliver Button Is a Sissy. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1979.
Why didn’t Oliver just do what other boys did? Instead Oliver prefers playing with paper dolls, spending time in the attic putting on costumes, singing and dancing, and playing make-believe. The result? Oliver gets teased and bullied. Even his father doesn’t understand his choices, and thinks he should do more “boy things.”
Oliver Button Is a Sissy is a classic, and has stood the test of time. Ever so gently, celebrated author Tomie dePaola masterfully uncovers issues of gender stereotyping, bullying, self-esteem, and acceptance. An important book thirty-seven years ago and still today.
Newman, Leslea. Heather Has Two Mommies. Somerville, MA: Candlewick Press, 2015.
“Heather’s favorite number is two. She has two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, two hands, and two feet.” Most everything about Heather is like most other children around her, with one difference: Heather has two mothers.
Heather Has Two Mommies first appeared twenty-five years ago, in an attempt to bring alternative families and discussions about diversity into the mainstream. Brave for its time, this newly-published version offers new watercolor and gouache illustrations by well-known artist Laura Cornell and slightly revised text. This book is a classic, and should be respected for how much it has offered readers for a quarter of a century.
Fierstein, Harvey. The Sissy Duckling. New York: Little Simon, 2014.
Elmer was a fun, happy and interesting duck, but he had no friends. While other ducks wanted to play football, Elmer wanted to make a puppet show. While others boxed, he baked. While others played baseball, he puts on a half-time show. He was different. It’s only when his father is injured and needs help at home, that Elmer finally proves that even that biggest sissy can be the greatest hero. “I am a big sissy and proud of it!”
This book is as funny as it is moving—a great addition to any library and home. Harvey Fierstein is a three-time Tony Award–winning writer, actor, and gay activist, and Henry Cole has a whimsically sensitive illustration style that will draw in any reader.
Ewert, Marcus. 10,000 Dresses. New York: Seven Stories Press, 2008.
10,000 Dresses is a story of a Bailey, a transgender child, born a boy, but who identifies as a girl. Every night, Bailey dreams of beautiful magical dresses. Sadly, when she wakes up full of excitement to tell her family about them, she is only met with “You’re a BOY! . . . You shouldn’t be thinking about dresses.” Bailey is crushed and confused. Only when she meets Laurel does she get to make the dresses she has been dreaming of and become the girl she wants to be.
This is a tender story of acceptance, difference, and gender identity. This is a great book to start discussions about social expectation, gender stereotyping, and gender identity.
Kilodavis, Cheryl. My Princess Boy. New York: Aladdin, 2010.
Dyson is a princess boy: he loves pink, sparkly things, dressing up, and doing all things “girl.” Thankfully, he has a family that loves him unconditionally, helps him feel confident in his decisions, and teaches him to believe in himself.
Of course this does not mean Dyson has an easy life, and that is why author Cheryl Kilodavis decided to write this book. “I wrote the story to give children and adults a tool to talk about unconditional friendship. When I feared my young son would be teased or bullied for wearing a dress to school, I spoke with his preschool teacher.” She also wrote this book. The illustrations add a fresh, happy backdrop to the important written text.
Austrian, J.J. Worm Loves Worm. New York: HarperCollins, 2016.
As with many love stories, this one leads to marriage. Since they are worms and their gender is unclear, all that their friends want to know is who will wear the wedding dress? In the end, they each wear parts of each other’s outfits and teach everyone that relationships are about love, not what you wear.
This beautifully illustrated story will have readers wanting to turn the page for more. It looks at challenging topics like gender identity, gender stereotypes, and same-sex marriage in an accessible and sensitive way for young readers. This book is a wonderful celebration of love.
Jeanette Romkema is a partner and senior consultant at Global Learning Partners, Inc. <www.globallearningpartners.com>, and is professor at Wycliffe College in Toronto. Her masters and Ph.D. work is in curriculum, teaching, and learning, with her research focused on children’s literature.
