Katie (not her real name), a high school junior, walked briskly toward her first hour class, making sure to get in the room before the bell rang.
As she approached the door, I waved a greeting and said, “Good morning, Katie!” No response. Katie, normally wide awake and talking with friends, walked silently, her head down and eyes fixed on the floor. She was lost in thought.
I tried again, this time a bit louder. “Katie, good morning!” Suddenly aware that she zoned out on the way down the hall, Katie stopped abruptly, realizing I had been speaking to her. Startled and embarrassed she asked, “Did you say something to me, Mr. L?”
I smiled at Katie, held up two fingers and said, “Yes, I said ‘good morning.’ . . . Twice.” Blood rushed to her face, turning her cheeks red. Katie looked down again, tapped the toe of her shoe on the floor a few times and said, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I was thinking about something else.”
“Not a problem!” I quickly replied. “I’ll try again. . . . Good morning!” Katie’s gaze stayed glued to the floor. Under her breath she quietly replied, “Not really.” The bell rang, ending our brief conversation. Katie walked into class. I thought, “There’s a story in that comment.”
Throughout class, Katie wasn’t herself. Normally she was very engaged and eager to participate. On this day, Katie’s mind was in another place. She stared down at her desk with tired, weary eyes. After class I caught Katie’s eye and motioned her over to my desk. “Seems like you’re having a tough start to your day, Katie. Anything I can do to help?” Katie had tears in her eyes. Speaking softly, she said, “It’s been a bad weekend.”
I paused, thinking, “Life can be hard for teenagers!” then asked Katie, “Do you want to talk about it?” Katie turned her eyes from the floor to me and replied, “Actually, yes, I would because I don’t know what to do.” I motioned for Katie to sit in the chair next to my desk. I asked her, “How can I help?”
Katie reached into her coat pocket, took out her phone, cradled it in her hands. Her voice trembled with emotion as she said, “I thought they were my friends.”
I watched Katie turn her phone over and over in her hands, unsure of what to say next. With tears running down her face, she took her phone in one hand, shook it back and forth in the air and exclaimed, “I don’t know how this happened!”
I gave Katie a moment to gather herself, then asked, “What happened?” Katie wiped the tears from her cheeks and eyes. She took a deep breath. With a slight smile and a more typical Katie sense of humor, she said, “Mr. Landstra, you’re old. What was high school like without social media?”
I smiled, then quickly replied, “Hey, I’m not that old!” Katie laughed and sat back more comfortably in the chair. I added, “And I think a lot has changed since I was in high school!”
Katie showed me some of what was said to and about her on social media over the past weekend. A misunderstanding occurred. As a result, feelings were hurt. Not long after, one hurtful comment was posted, then passed along many times. Others weighed in. More feelings were hurt. In what seemed like the digital version of mutually assured destruction, an issue that might have been simply resolved became a talking point for more than one hundred people.
On Monday morning, the digital world collided with the real world of high school. These students now had to face each other and figure out what to do next. Katie and I spent time talking about how she might work through the problem.
The Good and the Bad in Social Media
Situations like Katie’s occur in our Christian schools every week. And, while students still say unkind and untrue things about others with their mouths, a significant amount of the unkind and untrue is now issued from their thumbs.
For those who did not grow up in the digital revolution, the attraction to social media can be difficult to understand. For its users, however, social media is powerful, and it is here to stay. Knowthenet.org.uk, an online safety advisory website, found that 98 percent of high school students have at least one social media account. And, despite perceived age restrictions, 59 percent of ten-year-olds also have at least one social media account.
While, with understandable concern, attention is given to the negative outcomes of social media, it can also be a powerful source of good. Many positive social justice, political, and cultural movements have been fueled by social media. If previous generations “took it to the streets,” users of social media “take it to twitter” with unprecedented momentum.
In October 2017, a social media movement began in reaction to the sexual assault allegations levied against Harvey Weinstein. Actress Alyssa Milano, herself a victim of sexual assault, took to Twitter a campaign launched in 1997 by activist Tarana Burke (#MeToo). Since October, #MeToo has been tweeted over 2.3 million times in 85 countries and shared in over 77 million posts or comments on Facebook (Crocker, “The 97 Men”).
Christian organizations like World Vision also use social media to extend their reach around the world in a way that was impossible in the past. High school students credit social media with keeping them more connected to friends via Snapchat and Instagram; allowing them to be creative via YouTube, Pinterest, and VSCO; and helping them keep up with the news via Facebook and Twitter. Yet the issue remains: What about the negative? How do we guide students to see all communication through the lens of Scripture? What is a Christian school to do?
Responses to the Student Survey
In our high school, we decided that the best way to engage social media was to start having conversations with those most impacted by it: our students! We started by asking our students to take an anonymous online survey about their understanding of and relationship with social media. The survey created an awareness for educators of which social media apps our students use. We also learned about students’ feelings and concerns regarding social media and about how social media use affected interactions with peers and the broader culture.
Somewhat startling was the discovery that while nearly all our students (98 percent) use social media, 32 percent admit it has made their lives somewhat or considerably worse. Additionally, while students are more connected to peers, 57 percent would be glad to get rid of social media if their friends did the same.
The data was helpful, but we desired a deeper understanding of the numbers and their relation to the real lives of students. If nearly one-third of our students were voluntarily engaging with social media even though it made them unhappy at times, we needed to know why. It became obvious we needed to engage our students in conversations—with a focus on listening to their stories.
Groups of students (10–12 per group) were selected from the senior class, representing a cross-section of the senior student population. Each student was personally invited to participate in a conversation about social media. Not one senior turned down the invitation—they had things to say!
The conversations centered around what each senior wanted his or her peers to know or understand about social media based on their own firsthand experiences, whether good or bad. The five items discussed most often (in words spoken by seniors) are as follows:
- “Please!! Think before you speak!” Taking a moment to consider the consequences of words written and sent resonated deeply within the groups. One senior remarked, “My mom still asks me ‘Is it kind, true, and necessary?’ before I am about to say things at home. I guess that fits what I post too.”
- “It’s not a joke and not funny.” Everyone in each group agreed that while social media can be used to lift and support the members of a community, the “funny” memes attached to a picture can be hurtful and embarrassing. Stating an opinion that clicked with his group, a student said, “I see people taking pictures of others, attaching a ‘funny’ meme, then posting it to watch the reaction spread. Most times, it’s not nice stuff.”
- “I hate spam accounts.” Spam or fake accounts are often used anonymously to post on social media. Because of their anonymous nature, what is posted can be very negative, mean spirited, and untrue. One senior commented, “Some kids say, ‘That isn’t really me, it’s just my spam.’ Personally, I have come to believe I am what I post.”
- “Some people are really mean.” Every group acknowledged that some students in our school seemed intent on hurting others. It was helpful to have a conversation about the meaning of the saying “hurt people, hurt people.” One senior said, “While I don’t condone meanness, I’ll admit I do validate it sometimes by laughing at others or retweeting.”
Conversation among seniors about bullying, meanness, and being left out or ignored created an awareness that had not previously existed. For the first time, some of the seniors personalized the issue. Through the stories of classmates, they began to understand the power and effect of social media.
- “We need to talk about this more!” The experiences seniors shared in their stories led to this statement, which was the statement most often brought up in the groups. The seniors demonstrated an eagerness to talk about social media. When given a chance to have a conversation, as opposed to a lecture, the students responded. These conversations sparked a conviction of ownership and personal responsibility.
One senior said, “I see it like this; I’m like a boat in a no wake zone. If I tear through the zone, it won’t impact me because I’m looking forward. If I took the time to look back, I would see all the chaos my boat created simply because I didn’t care about the wake I left behind. I need to care about the other boats.” Again, heads nodded in agreement. Several students in different groups stated, “Everyone at school should be part of one of these groups!” Each meeting ended with reading Scripture passages about the power of words.
God at Work
It’s been two months since our conversations with students began. How are things going at school? Is everyone being treated well? Have all the negative aspects of social media disappeared? Well, redemption can be a slow process, but we know God is at work in this too.
For us, the process of redemption began with engaging our high school community in a series of chapels (called Every Drop Matters!) on all types of communication, including social media. Through listening to Scripture, praying for wisdom, and listening to stories from teachers and students, Every Drop Matters! chapels allowed students to reflect on the power of each word spoken and each action carried out, from the greatest to the least. All week long on our chapel stage, water slowly dripped from a hole in a five-gallon pail suspended from a ladder into what started out as an empty bucket on the floor—one single drop at a time. It was a powerful visual reminder that everything we do really matters.
Classroom teachers are now using Every Drop Matters! to foster conversation in classroom devotions and personal reflections. Our intention is to continue the conversations started with the student groups and chapel series. We hope to keep matters related to communication and social media in front of our students, encouraging them to see God at work in all they do. For Christian schools, “God at work” is the core message we want our students to know and understand—God cares about every part of life, including social media.
What Can We Do?
Twenty-three years ago, when I began my high school teaching career, a junior boy, on the first day of class, asked a question that stuck with me ever since. “Mr. Landstra, in this class are you going to tell us what not to do?” I hesitated to answer, not knowing exactly where he was headed with the question. I replied, “What do you mean?” Without hesitation, he responded, “It seems like most of what I hear of the Christian life is what I should avoid, dislike, or not do.” I nodded. His comment resonated with me. He continued, “I’m really hoping you will help us understand what we can do. I want to live as a Christian!”
When our students told us that they saw a need to discuss social media more often with their peers, I sensed that they, too, wanted to learn how to “live as Christians.” They seemed aware that some of their social media habits had become unhealthy and that they should engage social media differently. We clearly needed to create opportunities for students to see social media from a point of view different from our culture’s—through the lens of faith, where everything, including social media, belongs to God.
Works Cited
Crocker, Lizzie. “The 97 Men (and One Woman) Taken Down by the #MeToo Movement.” The Daily Beast, December 17, 2017, https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-97-men-and-one-woman-taken-down-by-the-metoo-movement.
Dan Landstra teaches Bible at Unity Christian High School in Hudsonville, MI. He has spoken about social media, pornography, and youth culture at the CEA convention and at numerous schools and churches. If you have more questions about Dan’s findings or would like to have Dan speak at your school or church, email him at dlandstra@unitychristian.org.
