A story is told about an “emperor’s-new-clothes” moment at a Christian school the day a visitor comes to class. The teacher shows a picture, asks the students what it is, and a perhaps overeager child responds, “Well, it looks like a squirrel, but I think the answer’s meant to be Jesus!”
We may chuckle or cringe at the story, but we don’t think twice about calling a squirrel a squirrel and taking a variety of educational approaches to it. We can look at squirrel biology, taxonomy, and ecosystems, we can build a squirrel feeder and write a squirrel story. All these approaches happily coexist and inform one another. Yet how often do our schools react in a similar way to the child above when the topic is LGBT+[1]? Whatever the issue—curriculum, restrooms, or “where we stand”—if it concerns homosexuality or LGBT, we feel the answer must be, “homosexual sex is a sin,” or “marriage is between a man and a woman.”
These answers, of course, have a place, but they do not end the discussion, and in many cases should not even start it. Instead, I propose we shift to a different default. Can we approach these topics with a focus on students? And can we view our LGBT+ students not as a problem, an institutional liability, or a threat (something to be hidden, ignored, or silenced), but as a gift and a blessing? With that as our starting point, our view can widen to encompass other important ways to view these topics, such as those that follow.
More Theology: Justice and Virtue
Most Christian denominations hold that same-sex sexual behavior is sinful, but same-sex orientation is not. This distinction alone should compel us to work for the physical and emotional safety of our LGBT+ students. As we’ll see in a moment, students who are questioning their sexuality or gender identity face particular pressures at Christian schools in an often-hostile environment. We serve a God who loves justice, a Jesus who lifts up those on the margins, and a Spirit who fills us with grace, yet many churches and schools frankly have a dismal track record on caring for the sexual minorities in their midst. Too often we have spoken and acted from ignorance or fear—hardly Christian virtues—whereas acting justly towards our neighbor should lead us to include and advocate for marginalized LGBT+ students as much as our ethical framework will allow. And the virtue of humility may require us to recognize that many in our classrooms, staff rooms, PTAs, and board meetings actually hold diverse theological views.
As followers of the Prince of Peace in a fractured social landscape, we have many opportunities to be a signpost for peace. Can we seek common ground, speak with gentleness, and show respect for all, regardless of their stance? Christ can be glorified in hard conversations whether or not there is agreement. This is a call to peacemaking, maturity, and sanctification.
Safety and Honesty
Consider for a moment the fact that in every class from middle school up one or more students are likely navigating confusing questions of sexuality and gender. No less in the image of God than any other, these students are usually the least visible and simultaneously the most vulnerable population in our schools. Why do I say this? Because of bullying, homelessness, depression, and suicide. If we are to be the hands and feet of Christ, we must be aware of these awful realities from which Christian children and Christian schools are not exempt.
Bullying and Harassment
LGBT+ and questioning students routinely experience slurs, derogatory language and excluding behavior. “That’s so gay,” for instance, is a pervasive form of insult that is far from harmless. Hearing others identify something you are (or fear you might be) as stupid and worthy of mockery daily wears at students’ resilience and self-esteem. We must challenge hurtful language and stereotypes, including those concerning expectations of gendered behavior or appearance. Encourage students to tell a teacher if they receive or witness harassment based on sexual orientation or gender norms, and ensure the report is treated as serious and important.
A nationwide survey of students in grades 6–12 by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN, <glsen.org>) indicates the extent of the problem:
- Fifty-six percent of LGBT students felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation, and 38 percent because of gender expression.
- Thirty percent of LGBT students missed at least one day of school in the past month because they felt unsafe or uncomfortable, and over a tenth (11 percent) missed four or more days.
- Over a third avoided gender-segregated spaces in school (e.g., bathrooms, locker rooms) because they felt unsafe or uncomfortable.
- About two-thirds reported avoiding school functions and extracurricular activities because they felt unsafe or uncomfortable.
- Seventy-one percent of LGBT students heard “gay” used in a negative way frequently or often at school, and 91 percent felt distressed because of this language
- Fifty-six percent heard negative remarks about gender expression (not acting “masculine enough” or “feminine enough”) frequently or often (Kosciw et al. xvi–xvii).
These statistics should alarm us as Christians, regardless of our position on same-sex relationships.
Homelessness
As middle- and high-schoolers grapple with questions of their sexuality, those who feel rejected by their families are at high risk for running away from home. Some who come out as LGBT+ may be told to leave by their own parents, due to failure to understand that the child needs listening, reassurance, love, and support—not rejection. Many may not be able to choose when and how to come out, and such situations can be especially traumatic. With LGBT+ youth accounting for a staggering 20–40 percent of the teen homeless population (U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness), we have an obligation to alleviate the desperation of these young people.
Depression and Self-Harm
Some of the LGBT+ youth in our schools and churches are understandably depressed, isolated, and suicidal. In research conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, LGBT+ youth were four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers and their attempts were typically more serious (Kann et al. 15–16). Another study found that those from highly rejecting families were eight times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGBT+ peers with little or no family rejection (Ryan et al.).
Safety requires the space to know and be known. We all know that deception is wrong, yet when it comes to sexuality, too often our school and church cultures encourage students to lie. Those dealing with same-sex feelings or gender dysphoria urgently need to know they can share their struggles or identity with a supportive teacher or mentor if they wish. Without a safe climate for honest disclosure, closeted students often maintain exhausting hyper-vigilance about their dress, speech, and behavior, effectively living a pretense out of fear. Conversely, a more open climate towards differences of orientation alleviates stress and frees students to concentrate on school and other interests. In an unpublished survey conducted at Calvin College in 2011, only half of the self-identified LGBT+ and questioning students reported feeling emotionally safe on campus—not surprisingly, they were those who were out to at least one person.
Equal Protection
Many of us know a student coping with gender dysphoria. How do such students experience school classrooms, locker rooms, playgrounds, and activities? Do teachers insist on gendered groups, activities, or stereotypes? If so, is there a necessary educational rationale?
Title IX legislation for schools receiving federal funding includes equal access, opportunity, and protection for all students. It “protects students . . . from all forms of sex discrimination, including discrimination based on gender identity or failure to conform to stereotypical notions of masculinity or femininity” (U.S. Department of Education 1). While some may bristle at such language, seeing it as government intrusion on religious liberty, the reality it aims to address concerns children who bear the image of God as much as you or I. The bullying, harassment, and suicide rates quoted above evidence the need for such a provision. Even if a school does not receive federal funds and holds a vision of sex and gender based on complementarity of male and female, we do well to ask ourselves whether all students have a fair and equal chance to succeed, or whether those who fall outside cultural norms of sex, gender, and orientation are at a disadvantage. At a time when significant preliminary evidence suggests a biological basis for gender identity (Saraswat et al.), we should not fear accommodating the needs of students who fall outside our cultural expectations.
Pastoral Care and Identity Formation
Another way to view LGBT+ issues in education is through the lens of pastoral care and identity formation. School years are a time when students come to know and develop various aspects of who they are, ideally integrating their sense of personhood as followers of Jesus Christ who find a home among God’s people. However, for sexual minority students, faith and identity development are often complicated. Many internalize negative messages from the religious community, leading to deep conflict about God, belonging, and self-worth. Some will overcompensate in other ways or compartmentalize their lives to try to escape the thought that they are intrinsically unacceptable to God, which is often how church teaching is received. In addition to negative messages directed towards the self (internalized homophobia), students may be grappling with the prospect of lifelong celibacy. The ten-year-old middle schooler, the high school senior, and the college sophomore struggling to come out and integrate religious and sexual identity will need patient support as they wrestle with this teaching and what it means for their future. We should not be surprised if many reject it. Are we able to assure them of God’s loving-kindness even if they do?
Students in these situations need the presence of sensitive, nonjudgmental adults who will walk with them without precondition. Having a support group at school could be an enormous asset to isolated, marginalized students, providing a lifeline of community and even a sort of home within the school for resources and training. Such a group could also introduce students to Christian LGBT+ role models, either in person or through video and written materials. If this seems impossible in your situation, brainstorm creative ways to provide community for students short of a publicized group.
It is important to realize that strands of identity such as faith, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, and (dis)ability are not a collection of marbles that can be discretely sorted, keeping some and rejecting others. Rather they are the swirls of color shot through a marble itself, with the whole package held in the hand of God. For our students, bringing all of who they are to Christ might actually mean acknowledging certain aspects of identity more, not seeking to repress or ignore them.
Educational Opportunity
Finally, what are the educational opportunities afforded by difference? With confidence that Christ is Lord over all, we encourage students to investigate and engage with God’s world. We evaluate different points of view in conversation with scripture and experience, and seek to develop students’ capacity for critical thinking, empathy, and nuance. Human sexuality and gender can be addressed at many points in the curriculum, in age-appropriate ways. Especially in high school relational health or biology, make room for courageous discussion of same-sex orientation and gender identity in which all students can freely participate. If your school has students whose parents are in a same-sex relationship, make sure they are respected and included in the life of the school, so that school doesn’t become a hindrance to the family unit. They may also be a resource for you.
Beneath the bullying, depression, and stress experienced by LGBT+ youth lies some persistent myths that continue to hold sway. For the sake of our students and our own integrity as Christian educators, we must do what we can to educate ourselves and others about these ideas. Three in particular come to mind:
- The first is that people willfully choose to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender in disobedience to God’s will. If this seems plausible to you, I recommend reading some of the many books, articles, and blogs by sexual minority people, especially persons of faith (e.g., see Hill, Lee, and Otto in Works Cited).
- The myth of choice goes hand in hand with a second: that through prayer or therapy sexual minorities can become straight, and those with gender dysphoria can live at peace with their birth-assigned gender. Yet over the past decades “reparative therapy” has been clearly found to be ineffective, and in many cases, harmful. And as our own experience teaches us, while God is sovereign and powerful, we cannot demand or presume God’s answer to prayer.
- A third myth we can help dispel in our communities is that being LGBT+ is all about sex. The truth is, for all of us, sexuality and gender identity encompass far more than sexual expression or desire: they are deeply woven into our emotional, spiritual, and relational selves as God’s human creatures. We rightly decry the oversexualization of our culture, but are we ourselves guilty of over-sexualizing those who find themselves to be LGBT+?
The very complexity of the themes I’ve briefly sketched presents us with rich possibilities to nurture Christian virtues—in ourselves and in our schools. I pray for God to help us better serve our LGBT+ students and fulfill our responsibility of care toward them. May we have the courage to call a squirrel a squirrel, and not default to a one-size-fits-all answer that ignores the needs of hurting youth or subsumes their experience into one hot mess of an “issue.” So let’s resolve, when people ask about our school’s stance on homosexuality, to tell them there are many important ways to view the topic—and take the opportunity to discuss a few. That’s educational.
[1] LGBT+ is intended as an umbrella term for those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, plus other sexual and gender minority persons.
Works Cited
Hill, Wesley, and Kathryn Greene-McCreight. Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2010.
Kann, Laura, et al. “Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health-Risk Behaviors among Students in Grades 9–12.” Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 60.7 (2011): 1–133.
Kosciw, Joseph G., et al. The 2013 National School Climate Survey: The Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth in Our Nation’s Schools. New York: GLSEN, 2014.
Lee, Justin. Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate. New York: Jericho Books, 2013.
Otto, Tim, and Shane Claiborne. Oriented to Faith: Transforming the Conflict over Gay Relationships. Eugene, OR: Cascade Books, 2014.
Ryan, Caitlin, et al. “Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults.” Pediatrics 123.1 (2009): 346–52.
Saraswat, Aruna, Jamie D. Weinand, and Joshua D. Safer. “Evidence Supporting the Biologic Nature of Gender Identity.” Endocrine Practice 21.2 (2015): 199–204.
U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights, Title IX Resource Guide. April 2015.
U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness “LGBTQ Youth Homelessness In Focus.” Web. Accessed 10 December 2015. <http://usich.gov/issue/lgbt_youth/lgbtq_youth_homelessness_in_focus/>
Julia Smith is director of the Sexuality Series at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She is a staff mentor to Calvin’s support and peer-education group for LGBT+ students and is a graduate student in Calvin’s M.Ed. program with a concentration in LGBT and Christian education.
